Mediation is a form of conflict resolution in which a neutral party, or “mediator” helps parties in conflict to resolve or manage their differences.  Unlike a court proceeding, in which the parties are adversaries, each seeking to assert their own point of view or win a case, mediation is intended to induce cooperation between the parties, seeking a mutually agreeable solution rather than a victory for one party or the other.  Mediation can be particularly well suited for conflicts between people who need to have continuing contact with each other in the future, such as a divorcing couple hoping to co-parent their children after divorce, or co-workers hoping to remain at their jobs despite disagreements.  It may also help parties who do not wish further contact to end their relationship in as constructive a way as possible.  For many, mediation can be a less stressful, time-consuming, and expensive option than bringing their case to court.  Mediation can also dovetail nicely with legal proceedings, offering the parties an opportunity to reach agreement on some issues, while reserving the right to seek legal assistance with more difficult ones. 

Participation

           
Mediation is a participatory process.  Each party represents themselves and speaks for themselves.  Consequently it is important that both parties be willing and able to express their views openly and honestly.  While the mediator will help participants to do this, they will not represent either party, or speak on their behalf.  Mediation may not be appropriate if there is a marked power imbalance between the parties, if there is ongoing violence or threat of violence in the relationship, or if for any reason a party is unwilling or unable to participate in the process.

Facilitation

           
Facilitation is the process by which mediators help people to reach agreements.  Mediators come from diverse backgrounds.  Their training may be in law, social work, psychology, family therapy, or even financial planning however they do not provide legal or financial advice or any kind of therapy during the mediation process.  Instead, they facilitate, or guide you through a process that involves discussing each party’s perspectives, interests and needs, exploring alternative ways in which you might be able to meet as many of your needs as possible, and coming to agreement on a course of action.  It may be advisable for you to seek advice or therapy from other experts.

Cooperation

           
While it is understandable that people in conflict may not have warm feelings towards each other, successful mediation relies on the good faith and cooperation of the parties, regardless of any animosity they may feel towards each other.  This means that in addition to honestly expressing your views, it will be necessary for you to listen respectfully to other points of view, to share information, and to cooperate in the process of examining and selecting options.  The mediator can often help to improve communication and cooperation between parties, but cannot force anyone to cooperate against their will.

Decision-Making Control

           
The mediator’s job involves moderating and taking control of the mediation process, however control of the outcome remains with the participants.  The mediator can be expected to make every effort to keep the process fair and balanced, but will not tell you what you should decide, or what your final agreement should be.                 

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Call Susan G. Bednar, LCSW

217-352-8502