There are several common names for adoption mediation, and you might hear it referred to as open adoption mediation, child welfare mediation or cooperative adoption planning mediation.  Regardless of its name, adoption mediation involves utilizing the assistance of a neutral, third-party mediator to resolve any conflicts that might arise in the adoption process and ensure that everything is handled correctly from a legal standpoint.

In many cases of adoption, both the adoptive parent(s) and birth parent(s) choose open adoption—a term which defines an adoption in which the adoptive family and the birth family communicate with each other concerning the decisions and timeframe related to the adoption procedure.  This is one of the many reasons why adoption mediation is important—particularly in situations of open adoption.

It is also important to understand what open adoption does not mean.  It doesn’t mean that the adoptive family and the birth family share custody or decision making once the adoption has been finalized.  It also doesn’t mean that the child must be told that he or she is adopted, and who his or her birth parents are (unless the adopting family later decides to reveal this information.)

So how does it work?

In adoption mediation, the mediator will first meet separately with the primary stakeholders (adults) involved in the open adoption process.  This usually includes the birth mother, the birth father and the adoptive family; however, it can also include grandparents, siblings and other people who will be significant in the child’s life after the adoption process is complete.

After these separate meetings, all stakeholders will be involved in a meeting in which the adoption mediator assists in finalizing the details of the adoption process.  If there is conflict relating to one or several points, the mediator will assist in helping both families make a decision that is best for the child/children involved.  However, the decisions are ultimately the families’ decisions to make, and the mediator will never force an agreement between parties.