Whether you call it spousal support, alimony, or spousal maintenance—the topic is often one of the most contentious subjects in a divorce, second only to child custody arrangements.  Because of this, many people assume that spousal support can only be dealt with in litigation, and that only the toughest lawyers can help you get it or avoid it.

In this assumption, alimony mediation is a grossly underestimated process in that it is highly successful in helping divorcees to reach a satisfactory and fair agreement concerning spousal alimony.  A common misconception is that alimony mediation is too simple for such a complex process—the truth of the matter is, mediation is a perfectly suitable venue to deal with complex issues.  This is so because alimony mediation encourages communication between the parties, and although such communication is complicated, it is absolutely vital to a continued relationship and respectful closure.

Mediation vs. litigation for spousal support

In litigation, the burden of proof for information relating to spousal support rests in the hands of the lawyers, and often, this burden of proof must be gathered and presented hastily.  Also, because of its adversarial construct, litigation does not allow the parties involved to mutually explore the expenses that will arise post-divorce; rather, these numbers are randomly generated by attorneys following (often out-of-date) state regulations.

The result is that spousal support becomes a simple bargaining process—one that fails to fairly and honestly consider the financial considerations that will be encountered by both parties.  Both parties are left with an arbitrary number and are not aware if this number will work in reality, after the divorce is finalized.  However, with alimony mediation, these topics are explored in depth in a conversation that is led by a mediator who carefully considers the needs of both individuals, both now and in the future.  There are no arbitrary numbers thrown out by lawyers.  This deliberation and communication process is absolutely vital to an effective and satisfactory arrangement.

Simply put—mediation keeps the discussion relating to spousal support real.