Alimony is one of the most contentious aspects of a divorce case with the parties often taking polarizing positions. One spouse may feel that his or her contributions to the marriage are not appreciated and may feel that he or she has a right to alimony. The higher-earning spouse may resent the idea of having to provide financial support to whom he or she is divorced. Mediation can often bridge the gaps between the parties and provides the opportunity for creative solutions.

A mediator who is mediating an alimony dispute can talk to each party separately. During these one-on-one conversations, the parties may reveal that they share many of the same goals, such as wanting an amicable relationship, wanting financial responsibility for both parties, providing economic stability for the children and wanting eventual self-sufficiency. By talking to each party in a respectful way and targeting the parties’ shared goals, the mediator can often help the parties move from their positions toward an amicable compromise.

By reciting their goals and interests, the parties can then open themselves up to resolving their legal dispute through creative solutions. For example, a spouse may agree to not pursuing alimony if he or she can walk away with a valuable asset, such as the marital home. The parties may agree to other alternatives, such as splitting the time more equitably with the children so that each parent is responsible for them and associated expenses roughly half of the time. A spouse may agree to set up a trust and provide payments for specific purchases or uses. The parties are free to agree to any decision that they reach so long as it is legal, so this allows a lot of flexibility for the spouses.