After a couple has accumulated assets for a number of years and their relationship starts to deteriorate, they may not agree on how these items should be divided. Sometimes these items represent a source of contention for the parties who are not really fighting over the household furniture or silverware but are instead using them as a way to punish each other or keep the conflict alive. A mediator can help the parties deal with the emotions involved in divorce and guide them toward an out-of-court resolution that satisfies both of their needs.

One effective way of starting the process is to acknowledge the difficult feelings that marital assets cause. They may be tied to memories or shattered dreams. By communicating in a safe environment and accepting that the process is difficult, the parties are often able to move past this in order to think rationally.

Once in this mindset, the mediator can explain the negative consequences of litigating the case, such as the tremendous financial cost. Many married partners have battled things out in court only to find that they had no money left at the end of the process due to the steep legal expenses. Additionally, litigation means that the parties will air their grievances in a public forum and often in a setting where a person can easily search for court documents and be able to find them. Being in public often cements parties’ positions and makes them less willing to compromise. In contrast, mediation is confidential and keeps private battles away from the public eye. Mediation often helps the parties heal and focus on having a better relationship in the future. While courts are limited in the remedies that they can offer, mediation provides greater flexibility to the party participants.