Can Mediation Help in an Antagonistic Relationship?
When two (or more) people are involved in a dispute, mediation is often the best way to settle the conflict. This is especially true if that dispute is the end result of a relationship that was once good but has turned sour. People who are dealing with wounded feelings and pride due to a separation, divorce, betrayal, or a financial dispute find it difficult to reconcile on their own – and when lawyers get involved, this difficulty is usually compounded exponentially.
The mediation process, on the other hand, involves a non-biased third party (including one or several mediators) that will listen to each party involved in the dispute individually and weigh all factors involved. This allows the parties in conflict to feel that they have had ample opportunity to state their case and be heard fairly. It is generally the case that the result of this calms both parties down to a point where there is opportunity for reasonable, rational discourse concerning what is fair for everyone involved.
Taking a case through litigation (a court trial), on the other hand, often has the opposite effect. When parties involved in an antagonistic relationship are in the heat of dispute and lawyers get involved, the dispute is often heightened. This causes antagonism to build and when that happens, the parties involved in the dispute will often react in a stubborn, aggressive, or overly defensive manner, making a reasonable discussion difficult to achieve.
This is why mediation is the best way to handle disputes between antagonistic parties. It is also much cheaper often costing the parties thousands of dollars less than litigation would cost. Combined with the fact that it often calms antagonism, mediation is the best way to handle disputes that would otherwise be taken to the courts, and is just as legally binding as a court-ordered decision.
What Defines Successful Conflict Resolution?
In conflict resolution theory, experts suggest multiple strategies for how to best handle disputes between people. Within those strategies, collaboration and communication are highlighted as essential elements to bring any conflict to a successful resolution. Put simply, without collaboration and communication, conflict resolution can be slowed, stalled, and even unsuccessful.
Another point that is often raised in conflict resolution theory is the necessity of recognizing that in most cases, the other person is not necessarily trying to “be difficult” or “make life difficult” for you. When you learn to separate the person from the problem, it is much easier to approach the issue from a more rational point of view without permanently damaging the relationship of the two parties in dispute.
Prepare to invest time and effort. Good mediation is hard work, and it can take a long time. Mediators often have to tactfully teach disputants how to communicate supportively and how to solve problems creatively and collaboratively. If you don’t have time to mediate properly, you’d be better off arbitrating.
Beyond this, the mediator (or mediators) must remain a neutral, third party, showing no favor for either client. Mediators must clarify facts and policies, and make sure that the focus of the mediation process remains on interests, not the individual positions of either party. When the focus is taken away from a position – or a set outcome that is desired – the parties are more likely to work out a dispute fairly through compromise. A successful mediator must also be able to suggest creative alternatives and be able to see possibilities that are perhaps unseen by the parties involved in the dispute.
In fact, when conflict resolution is handled in the right way, both parties in the dispute feel empowered because they have been given a chance to state their side and have it evaluated by a neutral third party. This empowerment is part of the formula that makes mediation such a beneficial process, and is what helps bring about a successful conflict resolution.
Why use an attorney once you’ve decided to quit paying your mortgage
If you decide that you can no longer pay your house note, the process of foreclosure can be started somewhat quickly. From the moment you miss your first bank note, the lender is allowed, by law, to seek to recoup assets it might lose. This is done in several ways.
First, some lenders might choose the judicial foreclosure, in which the lender will prove to a local county court that you, the borrower, are not making payments. If the lawsuit is in the lender’s favor, the court will sell the property. This type of foreclosure will only happen if there is no “power of sale” clause in the original loan documents.
Second, some lenders handle the process with the non-judicial method, when the original loan documents included a “power of sale” clause. This clause allows the lender to recoup the asset (or the property) and sell it to get their money. The timeline varies, depending on which state the foreclosure takes place, but in many cases, it’s within the span of a few months until home foreclosure forces you and your family to find lodging elsewhere.
This is why it is important to immediately seek the help of an attorney once you decide to no longer send in payments. An attorney will be well-versed on the timeline of your state, and will be able to direct you into the best options available to you to stall the process, giving you more time to catch up financially.
Will the Federal/State Settlement Help if I am Already in Foreclosure?
South Florida has experienced a lot of homes going underwater with their mortgages and its own fair share of the foreclosure crisis that has swept the nation in the past 5 years. Even with talk of the Federal/State settlement, if your home is in foreclosure, there isn’t a lot the settlement can do to halt the process or relieve your debt substantially. In some cases, you might be offered something by the bank but foreclosure defense attorney, Roy Oppenheim, suggests that if you like your home and want to stay, to not immediately accept offers of settlement. There are so many ways to fight foreclosure that unless you’re just wanting to leave the home for good anyway, it might prove beneficial to fight for your home through the legal system and stall the process of foreclosure with every legal means at your disposal.
One such way to do this that has proven to be highly successful in recent foreclosure defense cases is demanding that the original loan documents be shown in court. Since many loan processors and banks have been in their own chaos associated with the economy, paperwork has been shuffled around so much between different lenders that it’s easy for the original documents to become lost in the shuffle. In cases like these, homeowners are learning that they can remain in their homes despite foreclosure and despite not making payments.
Who Qualifies for Relief?
Despite the fact that approximately half of the mortgages in South Florida are underwater, not all homebuyers affected will qualify for the relief that has been granted by the $25 billion-dollar Federal/State settlement.
So how do you know if your loan qualifies? If you took out a loan with Bank of America, Wells Fargo, JP Morgan Chase, CitiGroup, or AllyFinancial, and the loan had mortgage-backed securities, then it might qualify, but there are other stipulations. For example, leading analysts suspect that the relief will be focused on those who can’t afford their bills versus those who can, regardless of the fact that the fallen real estate prices affect everyone in the area. Depending on your unique circumstances, if granted funds from the settlement, your loan might only qualify for a principal reduction or reduced interest rate, but not necessarily both.
Also, if you are one of the majority of Americans who took out a mortgage through Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac, your loan might not be included in those being granted relief. Additionally, if you have taken a severe hit in income, either through a lost job or unexpected medical expenses, you might not qualify. This relief seems to be focused on those who are getting behind or mortgages, but for those who have taken out second mortgages and are behind on property taxes, there might not be much help.
What is the best way to get a low cost divorce?
Divorce is an expensive life event, especially if the divorce is contested in court. Divorce lawyers charge thousands just for taking on a simple divorce with few assets and no children. Cases with children, costly assets, and one or both parties contesting for ownership or custody can cost $10,000 and upwards. Divorce through divorce attorneys and the court system can wreck your ego and your bank account, which is why looking for a low-cost divorce makes sense.
Hiring a qualified divorce mediator is a more cost-effective approach than using an attorney to present your case in court. A divorce mediator can usually settle divorce cases for thousands of dollars less in initial costs, but can also help keep the anger and resentment to a minimum in a time when both seem to get the better of all parties involved.
Many mediators are also attorneys who will be able to file the paperwork for you to continue the legal process, but will do it at a fraction of the cost that divorce attorneys will charge for this same service. A mediation professional is also an attorney, but one who focuses on getting information to both parties in a non-threatening way. If you hire a mediation attorney, you will make your own decisions, with the non-biased expertise of a mediation expert. Particularly if spouses are able to compromise without greed, the mediation process will be the least expensive and quickest way to obtain a divorce so that each party involved can move on with their lives with their dignity and bank accounts intact.