Tips for Establishing a Productive Co-Parenting Relationship

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Depositphotos_31758773_s-2015Co-parenting with a parent with whom you are no longer involved in a romantic relationship can be challenging for many parents. Here are some tips for helping you to establish and maintain a positive co-parenting relationship.

Be Empathetic

Try to consider the other parent’s point of view. It is likely difficult for them to lose time with their child or not be able to celebrate a holiday with their child. Also, consider your child’s perspective. It is likely difficult constantly being pulled in two directions. Acknowledge difficult feelings and operate from a position of compassion.

Pick Your Battles

There are times when you may need legal intervention, but there are also times when it is more important to win the war of maintaining an effective co-parenting relationship than any small battle. The other parent may deal with a situation differently than you would have, but that does not necessarily mean that there is a problem worth confronting.

Respect the Other Parent’s Time

When your children are with the other parent, try not to call them too often or when you know they will be busy. Be prompt about dropping off the children. Allow the children to enjoy time with the other parent.

Be Flexible

Even though you have likely created a well planned out schedule, changes may be necessary. Be flexible if you need to switch weekends or holidays.

Use Mediation If Conflict Arises

Conflict may still arise even if you work diligently to establish a co-parenting relationship. If this occurs, consider an option to reduce conflict, such as mediation. This process involves the use of a neutral third party who can help you and the other parent improve your communication, recognize the other’s perspective and consider your shared interests.

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Top Five Reasons to Consider Child Custody Mediation

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Father and sonChild custody mediation is an effective alternative that can help you and the other parent work out an agreement regarding your child. Some of the main reasons to consider child custody mediation include:

Mediation Is Non-Adversarial

If you are unable to reach an agreement with the other parent, you may consider taking legal action. However, this involves a contested litigation process that pits you and the other parent against each other. This process often creates conflict and bad feelings for years to come. In contrast, mediation is a collaborative process. Both parents focus on working together to do what is in their child’s best interests. You and the other parent can establish a fair parenting plan that allows you both to play active roles in your child’s life.

Mediation Focuses on the Future

Litigation tends to focus on mistakes the parents made in the past while mediation focuses on what will be best for your child going forward. Even if there is an existing custody arrangement in place, mediation can help the parties come up with new plans that will work better for them and their children in the future.

Mediation Minimizes Conflict

Experienced mediators use conflict resolution skills to uncover the interests of both parties. They also help exes develop new skills to have better communication. These improved communication skills help reduce conflict over time.

Mediation Reduces Costs

Reaching a resolution through mediation is often far less expensive than litigation. In litigation, you each have to pay for your attorney’s fees. You may also incur filing fees and other expenses. In mediation, you can pay just for the mediator and split the costs between the parties.

Mediation Provides a Win-Win Solution

In litigation, someone must lose, and someone wins. In mediation, it is possible for both parties to win, as well as their children.

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Benefits of Using Mediation to Resolve Fair Housing Disputes

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Due to the ample benefits of using the mediation process, many communities have established mediation panels or programs to resolve fair housing issues. These programs can provide significant benefits to the parties.

Mediation empowers the parties to reach a resolution. A mediator does not impose a decision on the parties. Instead, he or she acts as a neutral facilitator and encourages the parties to consider mutually acceptable solutions to resolve a dispute and avoid litigation.

Mediation takes far less time than litigating a case in most situations. In many situations, a problem can be resolved with one day of mediation. The parties set up a time that works for their schedules and that of the mediator. In contrast, litigation can extend months or years before being resolved.

The mediator can encourage conversation, empathy and understanding. Mediators are specially trained in conflict resolution skills and can help de-escalate situations. They can often help the parties view the situation from the other party’s perspective and gain a more realistic vision of the case and the possible negative implications if it proceeds to litigation.

Mediation gets the parties to work together instead of against each other. This cooperation may lead to an amicable result regarding housing for the tenant or a change in policy that will help other tenants in the future. In the litigation process, one party must win and the other must lose. Mediation offers a win-win for the party. It also helps the parties maintain a civil relationship instead of turning them into enemies.

Because the parties are an integral part of developing an agreement, they are more likely to honor it. This agreement is enforceable and helps clarifies the roles and duties of the parties.