How to Make Sure Divorce Has Minimal Impact on Your Children through Child Custody Mediation

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Child custody battles are too often bitter and destructive, leaving children in the center of a tug-of-war that has little to do with their best interests.  This is especially true when the custody struggle takes place in a litigated setting, as lawyers battle for their client’s best interest rather than the children who are at the center of the battle.

Any parent who has been through this and who has seen the negative effects it has will admit that litigation is not always the best way to handle it.  However, when a couple is divorcing and both want to spend time with their children that they love dearly, how can it be settled otherwise with fewer negative consequences?

The answer is simple: child custody mediation.  In child custody mediation, a neutral third-party mediator works with divorcing or separating parents to determine a child custody arrangement and schedule that has minimal impact on the child’s life and that avoids the bitter contention of a courtroom battle.  In child custody mediation, the parents work together (instead of against each other) to determine what is best for them and their family.

 The approach a child custody mediator will take is one that involves a frank, honest discussion about how the custody and visitation schedule would work to benefit everyone (most especially the children).  In the child custody mediation process, the divorcing couple would be encouraged to work together to come up with the following:

  • A custody and visitation schedule
  • The list of possible foreseeable exceptions that would deviate from the regular schedule, such as holidays and vacations
  • The method in which the divorcing parents will communicate with each other about the children; for example, regarding school issues, homework, extracurricular activities, etc.
  • How special issues will be handled, such as religious exposure, medical care, etc.

Child custody mediation works because it encourages open and honest communication about the important topics rather than a battle that is all about selfish motives.  This honest communication is the initial step to ensuring that a divorce or separation has minimal impact on their children’s lives and emotional health.

November 20, 2014

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US 30-Year Mortgage Rates Drop to 3.99 Percent – Average U.S. long-term mortgage rates continued to tick down this week, remaining close to yearlong lows.

Charles Dickens’ Bleak House and its Bleak Outlook on Inheritance Disputes

Charles Dickens’ Bleak House and its Bleak Outlook on Inheritance DisputesOver the course of 20 months between March 1852 and September 1953, Charles Dickens published installments of what would become known as one of his best novels—Bleak House. It is known as one of his best due to the intricate and complex weaving of characters throughout the main plot and sub-plots of the book.

And what topic could include this level of complexity? None other than inheritance disputes. Anyone who has ever mediated an inheritance dispute will immediately understand how this subject could be so tense with complex character drama. It’s because inheritance disputes, themselves, are some of the most complex to mediate—particularly because they involve intense emotions involving family members that have likely been building for decades (or even generations). The complexity is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

The case within the book is Jarndyce v. Jarndyce, an inheritance dispute in which “[i]nnumerable children have been born into the cause; innumerable old people have died out of it.” By the end of the novel, litigation has ruined a once noble and wealthy family to such an extent that there is nothing left to squabble over. Dickens’ most genius assertion here is that inheritance disputes can be long, complicated and full of enough emotion to drown several households put together, especially if they all share common bloodlines.

A more recent inheritance dispute involving £200,000 left by Daphne Burgess to her daughters Julia Hawes and Libby Burgess ended in much the same way as Dickens’ tale—so much so that the judge even referred to the novel. After dragging the inheritance sum through litigation, Burgess’ son Peter ensured that none of the money was left to give anyone. According to an article published in the U.K.’s Daily Mail, one of the judges involved with the Burgess case, Lord Justice Mummery, “compared the case with the infamous lawsuit in Charles Dickens’s Bleak House: ‘It may be recalled that the foggy family law suit in Jarndyce v. Jarndyce dragged on before the Lord Chancellor for generations until nothing was left for the parties to take.’” Lord Justice Mummery also stated that, “The cost of contesting Mrs. Burgess’ will is a calamity for this family in every way. Even worse are the human consequences for a once close-knit and loving family.”

Although not all inheritance disputes end like this, it is important to stress to your clients that there might be some fights not worth taking on, especially if there will be no “winner” on the other side of the fight. When everyone loses, why bother disputing the inheritance in the first place?

October 27, 2014

A Divorce Lawyer’s Advice Before You Say ‘I Do’ – This is not an analysis about who is right or who is wrong in their beliefs. The concept is to recognize fundamental differences on issues of morality. Find somebody whose crap you can live with, but don’t kid yourself into thinking issues of your soul don’t matter. This is not about religious differences (which can be overcome) but an issue of values. What do you each value? Truth? God? Kindness to others? Hard work? Intellectual experiences, like reading or traveling? Money? Fidelity? Friendship? Children? What makes your life worth living? What do you want most out of life? Are these things fundamentally different from your true love?

Mortgage rates drop for fifth week – With mortgage rates sliding for a fifth straight week, the possibility of locking in a rate below 4 percent is tempting for consumers and could unleash a wave of refinancing. It may even convince some Americans to buy their first home.

Markets Weekly: Bitcoin Price Resilience Crumbles – Bitcoin price resilience finally crumbled this week after two weeks of strength following the so-called ‘BearWhale’ slaying.

October 21, 2014

Why Celebrities Should Opt for Fast Mediation When Divorcing – The list of high profile, often painful and expensive divorce cases is long and it contains the likes of Paul McCartney, Madonna, Tom Cruise, Kim Kardashian and Heidi Klum. I’m convinced that it is possible for celebrities to quickly settle their divorce and if desired, it could be done in a weekend, if both celebrity spouses are willing to cooperate and are able to wish each other a positive new future. So why is it so important for celebrities to choose for a (fast) mediation process instead of a traditional court procedure? Here are my VI-P’s!

Foreclosure Hurting Your Neighborhood and Home’s Value? — Buy It! – We’ve all heard many times the “making lemonade from lemons” quote. When life throws a negative at you, turn it around and make something good out of it. Of course, this isn’t possible in many cases, but it’s a nice thought and course of action if it works.

Three U.S. Agencies Approve Relaxed Mortgage-Lending Rules – Three federal agencies approved long-delayed U.S. mortgage market standards Tuesday, completing a less onerous rule than regulators originally proposed in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis.

Four Benefits to Medical Malpractice Mediation

Four Benefits to Medical Malpractice Mediation

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Medical malpractice mediation is on the rise, as is the number of Americans that have been hurt or killed by negligent doctors and health care workers.  According to the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), while heart disease and cancer hold the number one and number two spots, medical malpractice is the third most common cause of death in the US.  In fact, an amount totaling over $3 billion was paid out to medical malpractice victims in 2012, with an average lawsuit of one payout every 43 minutes.

So considering these startling numbers, there is a very high likelihood that at some point in your life, you could be involved in a medical malpractice claim requiring mediation.  However, just because you achieved disappointing results after a surgery or things didn’t go quite like the doctor suggested they would, it doesn’t mean you have a viable medical malpractice claim.  If you do have a viable claim, medical malpractice mediation offers considerable advantage over litigation:

  1. The final outcome remains in your hands.  You won’t have anyone else determining your settlement—it will be an agreement between you and the health care provider.  This also means that if you are not offered an agreeable settlement by the other party, you have the option to reject the offer and move the case through to litigation.
  1. Payouts start coming in quicker.  Since litigated medical malpractice claims can take several months (even years) to reach resolution, your potential settlement will also be that far down the road.  With medical malpractice mediation, as soon as a settlement is agreed upon by the parties in conflict, payouts can and do begin.
  1. Neither side needs to pay outside lawyers.  This certainly makes medical malpractice mediation more inviting, especially since attorney fees in a litigated case can end up costing more than originally anticipated.
  1. Mediation can be a stepping stone.  Mediation can operate as a stepping stone to arbitration or litigation, which are both options if mediation doesn’t work.  If you are unhappy with the results of mediation, you can look for other options for resolving your legal claim.