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Prenuptial agreements can be as problematic as they are helpful, which is why approaching them in the right way through prenuptial mediation can help save a marrying couple a lot of stress and potential resentment.  There are many cases when prenuptial agreements are wise—and even necessary—particularly if it is a second or third marriage for one or both spouses and there are children from the earlier marriage.  However, in many cases, prenuptials are either unnecessary or overdrawn, creating nothing more than tension in a marriage when they were intended to create peace.

The main problems associated with entering into a prenuptial agreement occur when the couple hires lawyers to draft the agreement.  The very act of hiring two different lawyers creates an adversarial scenario, whether you want it to or not.  This act of “lawyering up” can cause tension within the relationship before the marriage even begins, especially if one party has more money than the other and his/her lawyer drafts a prenup that insists the more moneyed spouse remains in control of his/her money.  This is a slippery slope that even the tightest knit of couples should avoid.

The solution to these common problems lies in prenuptial mediation, in which a third-party mediator sits down with both soon-to-be spouses and discusses the best way for them to control their financial future as individuals and as a couple. The mediator is there to work with both individuals so no “sides” are taken.

There is no “lawyering up,” even though the mediator might be a lawyer or is certainly an expert in matters of family law and litigation.  Instead, the emphasis is placed on terms things communication, collaboration, mutual understanding and respect—concepts that are necessary for a good marriage and will in no way destroy the bond that the couple already shares.  If anything, mediation will strengthen this bond.