In divorce and child custody litigation, dredging up the personal habits of one's former spouse is a standard strategy to gain the majority of the division of assets and child custody. For many people, this is a good reason to seek child custody mediation. To make matters more complicated, the personal habits that can make you lose in a custody hearing are not always obvious.

Smokers Need the Level Field of Custody and Divorce Mediation

Most ill-favored behaviors are obvious. Drug use, alcohol consumption, abuse and infidelity have been cited thousands of times as reasons to divorce, gain a larger chunk of the estate, as well as the lion's share of custody, alimony and child support. Now there is a growing trend toward smoking tobacco products being an ill-favored behavior. Whether you smoke cigarettes, pipe tobacco or cigars, you could lose big in litigation.

Here are some facts:

• - Smoking is a factor in custody in more than 18 states.
• - No court or judge has dismissed smoking as a factor.
• - Custody and visitation rights have been denied, revoked or reduced for exposing the children to tobacco smoke.
• - In many custody cases, smoking is prohibited around the children, especially in the car.
• - Courts have often ordered that smoking cannot happen in a house from 24-48 hours before the child comes over.
• - Sometimes smoking by friends, family and new partners is taken into consideration.

Civil Mediation Beats Combative Litigation

Most divorce and child custody litigation is brutal and even violent. Even if a divorce is generally amicable, litigation attorneys are going to encourage the separated couple to “go for the throat.” When it comes down to child custody, destroying the former partner's image as a good parent can seem worth it.

In divorce and child custody mediation, this is not the way things work. The goal of the proceedings is not to determine who is worthy of what by fighting tooth and nail. It is a matter of coming to a mutually agreeable arrangement. Divorce is difficult enough, and mediation is easier than litigation.